We're completely consumed by the World Cup. We're freaking PO'ed about gender inequality in soccer. Sh!t's hitting the fan in Ottawa...and we're not talking about Parliament Hill. The US Open brought the drama. There was a streaker at a BC Lions Game. The Blue Jays are FINALLY winning. And, we've got you a discount on Toronto Argo's tix!
I see Trees of Green, red Roses too
The GIST: The 2018 FIFA World Cup held in Russia is well underway and it's the most exciting thing to come on TV since The OC.
What a Wonderful World: Unless you live under a rock without wi-fi you should know that the FIFA World Cup kicked off last week, and what a week it has been!! We could literally go on and on and on about the World Cup, but we're gonna break down only the things we think you need to know:
Best Save: Without a doubt, the best save was this one when Iceland's goaltender, Hannes Halldorsson, stopped the best player in the world's, Lionel Messi's, penalty shot. This save was a BFD for a couple of reasons. First, it's Iceland's first year in the World Cup, and at a 335k population, they're the smallest country to ever qualify. Second, their goalie went pro only two years ago (!!!) and actually moonlights as a film director. LOL. Turns out this save was v clutch as the final score was 1-1.
Best Goal: Cristiano Ronaldo does it again scoring this free-kick goal that was just as B-E-A-UTIFUL as he is. Ronaldo scored ALL THREE goals against Spain to secure a 3-3 tie. Fun fact - he's the oldest player ever to get a hat trick in FIFA World Cup history. Can you say, DILF?!
Biggest Upset: #14 ranked Mexico won 1-0 over #1 ranked, and reigning World Champs, Germany. This was about as expected as you being sober on a weekend - simply not expected. The best part of this win was the reaction - the entire country of Mexico literally went BUCK-WILD. After Mexico scored, the entire population of Mexico City must have started jumping in joy as they "technically" caused a tremor. Check out the data here. This further proves that literally, soccer is > life.
Best Steeze: Okay. Nigeria's jerseys are actually SOOOO DOPE. So much so that the jerseys literally sold out in minutes.
There are still three more weeks of soccer, and if this read doesn't convince you to watch a few games, maybe the fact that most bars are serving beer as early as 9am during the World Cup does? Thought so.
World Cup 2026!!!
The GIST: The USA, America, and Canada are going to be co-hosting the 2026 FIFA World Cup of Soccer! It's the first time ever that Canada will be hosting. OH, CANADA!
Think of how old you will be...: So, we're talking about the World Cup AGAIN. Yes, the World Cup is getting more action than you got last weekend. Alright. Last week it was announced that the 2026 World Cup is gonna be held in North America.
So how TF is thing gonna work?: Well, there's gonna be 10 games in Canada, 60 in the USA, and 10 in Mexico with the quarter-finals onward being held in the US. The cities that were on Canada's bid are Toronto, Montreal, and Edmonton, but it's still TBD on how many games each city will get and if games will actually be held in all three cities. Now, normally the country that hosts the tournament gets automatic entry. Again, it's still TBD if all three countries will automatically qualify, but the tourney is expanding from 32 to 48 teams so there's a fair chance that all three teams will play. FYI the US and Canada didn't qualify for the World Cup this year, and as Canada's men's team is currently ranked 79th in the world, it's v smart to host the Cup cuz otherwise our Canadian boys might not ever qualify.
ONE THING THAT WE'RE REALLY PO'D ABOUT: When the 2015 Women's World Cup was hosted in Canada, the women had to play on turf. BUT, the 2026 Men's World Cup is gonna be played on grass. For those of you that don't play soccer, playing on grass is MUCH preferred to turf for a variety of reasons, so it's SO goddamn frustrating to see the discrepancy of treatment between male and female athletes. If this is getting you fired up too, be sure to read on here.
Sh!t's Hitting the Fan in the Capital
The GIST: We don't know where to start. Everything that could go wrong with the Ottawa Senators NHL team is literally going wrong.
But it's not even hockey season, what could be happening?: Oh, hunny. Let us tell you!
Last week, Melinda Karlsson, the wife of star defenseman and captain, Erik Karlsson, filed an order of protection against Mike Hoffman's fiancée, Monica Caryk.
Why?!: Allegedly Caryk used secret social media accounts to threaten and harass the Karlssons leading up to and following the death of the Karlssons' stillborn child in March. Yes. Jaw-dropping. You literally can't make this sh!t up. Some of the over 1,000 posts included Caryk wishing that the Karlssons' unborn child was dead (before he was stillborn) and that she wished someone would take Karlsson's legs out to end his career. The police investigation remains ongoing and no criminal charges have been filed yet. Both Hoffman and Caryk are denying any involvement; however, we're calling BS. Caryk's previously been known to cause a ruckus and there have been several other players and their wives saying that they're "not surprised" by her actions. There is no room for this despicable and downright mean cyberbullying. There have already been some trade rumours surrounding Karlsson, and you can bet with this scandal, the Sens will have to trade Hoffman as well.
Oh, and on top of all of this: The Sens' Assistant General Manager, Randy Lee, was charged with sexual harassment for allegedly inappropriately touching a 19 y/o hotel shuttle driver AND some famous prior players are calling for the owner, Eugene Melnyk, to sell the team. This situation is more of a gong show than two-on-one dates in The Bachelorette.
It's all in the hips
Just Easin' the Tension, Baby!: If you're too young...or too old, and don't get this Happy Gilmore reference, here's the link. So the US Open happened this weekend and it was, TBH, a little bit hard to watch. The wind was blowing, the conditions were hack AF, and a bunch of star players didn't even make the cut. We're gonna keep this brief b/c we know you prolly don't care about golf that much, but, YOU GOTTA KNOW THIS. On Saturday, superstar Phil Mickelson, legit looked like you on the golf course. Not kidding. After missing a putt by a long-shot, instead of waiting for the golf ball to stop, he ran over to it, and re-putt the ball before it stopped. LOL. Similar to wearing white past Labour Day, this is a MAJOR NO-NO and results in a 2-shot penalty. Watch it all unfold here. There were a lot of people that got their knickers in a knot after Mickelson did this, saying that it was against the "spirit of the game". Chill the heck out, Carol - he didn't harm anyone. In response to the h8ers, Mickelson had the last laugh on Sunday when he over-celebrated this par-putt on Sunday. Oooh, we love it when golf gives us some DAH-RAMA.
Sh!t you Should Also Know About
- The CFL (Canadian Football League) started last weekend. The CFL is kind of like... the duff in a friend group. As much as there were a lot of great plays made last week, our favourite, b/c we're v mature, has to do with a streaker. You MUST WATCH this clip of a streaker at the Montreal Alouettes vs. BC Lions game run around the pitch until he just gets absolutely PUMMELLED by a BC Lion. You can't help but laugh.
- OMFG! The Toronto Blue Jays baseball team has FINALLY have shown LIFE!!! They managed to sweep (win all games in the series) the Washington Nationals after winning three games in a row. About goddamn time.
- After the Cleveland Cavaliers' embarrassing loss to the Golden State Warriors in the NBA Finals, everyone and their mom (yes, probably your mom knows) are wondering where LeBron James, who becomes a free agent in July, is gonna play next year. We dunno where he'll end up, but what we did rly enjoy is this super creative feature by ESPN that asked thirty different artists in different cities to try to "court" LeBron to their city. You gotta check it out.
Get it in the Cal.
Yo. Whatchu Up to This Week?
Give yourself an excuse to not work out this week by getting these sporting events in the cal:
Tuesday and Wednesday: Your Toronto Blue Jays are hosting the Atlanta Braves. Tuesday's game is "reusable bag night" so if that's not enough of a reason to go to a Jays game we dunno what is. Getcha tickets here.
Friday: You gotta get down on Friday, so we're gonna HOOK YOU UP! It's the Toronto Argonauts first home game of the CFL szn and we've got a special discount for our GISTers. You can buy your tickets here and make sure to use the code GISTERARGOS to claim your discount. Bonus: rumour has it the tailgate is lit and the hot dogs are only $3. Sign us up!
All Week: It's the FIFA World Cup! Duh. A coupla games that we'll for sure be watching are France vs. Peru at 8am on Thursday and best steeze Nigeria vs. underdog Iceland at 11am on Friday. Otherwise, Check the schedule out here.