Bring out the brooms - the Warriors are your NBA Finals Champs. The Caps win the Stanley Cup. Bryan Colangelo is an idiot. French Open champs are declared - bien joué. The World Cup of Soccer is finally here!!! Donald Trump literally forgot the words to God Bless America. No women are in top 100 richest athletes *rolls eyes*. Chrissy Teigen gives us another reason to love her. Justify won the Triple Crown. And, Season 2 of Queer Eye is out this week - YASSS!
A Sweep is as Lucky, as Lucky can b
The GIST: Introducing your back-to-back NBA Champions, the Golden State Warriors!
Chim Chim-in-ey: #Sorrynotsorry if we got the Mary Poppins chimney sweepers song stuck in your head this morning. Such a tune. Well. The NBA season is officially over, ending with the Warriors sweeping (winning four straight games in the series) the Cleveland Cavaliers. TBH, this series, outside of the J.R. Smith brain fart, was a lil' bit lacklustre. Still, what you need to know is:
- The Warriors' lanky AF star player, Kevin Durant, was named NBA Finals MVP for the second straight year.
- Lebron James apparently played with a "serious" bone contusion in his right hand, after punching a whiteboard following the Cavs game one loss (um, hello LeBron, have you heard of meditation??). Still, he somehow managed to play the remaining three games and scored an average 28 points in each. We literally sob when we stub a toe, so LeBron playing with this injury is HELLA impressive.
- It's standard that American pro sports teams visit the White House after winning a league. However, both Warriors leader, Steph Curry, and LeBron said "thx but no thx" to visiting with Trump as president. In response, like the four y/o kid he is, Trump told the media that both teams were "uninvited" to his birthday party to the White House. V mature Donald, v mature.
As much as the Warriors were far and away the better team, we partially blame this embarro sweep on bad karma after Cavs' player and Khloe Kardashian's baby-daddy, Tristan Thompson, cheated on her just days before their baby was born. Just goes to show, karma's a b!tch. See yuh in October, NBA!
I dub thee, Lord Stanley
The GIST: As much as it pains us to say it, the hockey season is over. The Washington Capitals are your Stanley Cup champions after beating the Las Vegas Golden Knights four games to one.
Nothin' Better: OH, BABY!! The Caps completely dominated this series, winning four straight games to claim the Stanley Cup for the first time in franchise history. Here are our favourite moments from the Stanley Cup Final:
- Capitals captain, Alexander Ovechkin, is widely regarded as one of the best players in the whole wide world. In 13 seasons in the NHL, he's won 15 awards, but the Stanley Cup has always eluded him. So you can just imagine how freakin' FIRED UP he was when the Caps won. Be sure to watch Ovi finally hoist the Cup here - gives us the shivers.
- LOL, we think Ovi is gonna be drunk for weeks after this win. Watch Ovi do a keg stand on the Stanley Cup here. See, athletes are just like us!
So we're actually distraught that the NHL szn is over, *almost* as distraught as when Gilmore Girls ended. But, we're taking some solace in the fact that there are only 112 days left until next szn. Let the countdown begin!
*Get's Caught in a Twitter Scandal*
The GIST: Philadelphia 76ers basketball team's general manager, Bryan Colangelo, "resigned" amid the sh!t storm Twitter scandal... and blamed his wife for everything.
*Blames Wife*: Remember this story from last week's GIST? If not, be sure to read the background of the story here. So. After all of that, Colangelo resigned (AKA got fired) after investigators found "forensic evidence" (okay is this an episode from Criminal Minds?) that his wife, Barbara Bottini, was connected to the burner accounts. After that, Colangelo issued a statement where he literally throws his wife under a bus. Seriously, go read the second paragraph of the statement here. We think this statement is completely BOGUS. How TF would Colangelo's wife have access to all this data if she didn't get the info from him?? Is it not possible that Colangelo himself set up these Twitter accounts himself just using his wife's phone as a scapegoat?? It all seems fishy AF.
Haunted French Pancakes...
Give us the Crepes: Yes, we did just make back-to-back epic #dadjokes. Just giving the people what they want! Back to the courts. First up, the women. For those of you that were hoping that this would be Serena Williams' return to major tournament dominance, no dice. Unfortunately, Serena had to forfeit due to a pectoral muscle issue. Sadness. It did clear the way for Romanian, and number one ranked, Halep to secure her first EVER major tourney win when she beat American Sloane Stephens (who is dating Toronto FC star Jozy Altidore - peep the first photo in her IG) in the finals. Pretty special! On the men's side, Nadal won his 11th (!!!) title at Roland Garros since 2005. It's literally not fair, this dude is unstoppable on the clay courts... kind of like you when you NEED to find pizza after the bar.
I Can Show You the World
The GIST: The time has finally arrived! The event we’ve all been waiting for, the end of President Trump’s presidency the men’s FIFA World Cup of Soccer tournament, is FINALLY here. YASSS!!
Shining, Shimmering, Splendid: The World Cup is the largest and most prestigious tournament in soccer and takes place every four years. This year’s World Cup is taking place in Moscow, Russia from June 14th to July 15th. Yes, we know what you’re thinking. How TF did President Putin and his Kremlin minions manage to host ANOTHER world-wide event?! Honestly, we have no clue. Anyway. There are 32 countries that qualified for this year’s World Cup and it's sure to be a doozy. Didn't know the World Cup was happening?! Or need/want to know more?! Look no further. Be sure to check out our GIST Guide to the World Cup for the important things you need to know before the tournament starts. You're welcome.
Just a few more Things you Gotta Know About
- Last week, president Donald Trump literally forgot the words to God Bless America at the Philadelphia Eagles "fan rally" at the Whitehouse. You gotta watch the awkwardness unfold here. A "very patriotic" guy indeed.
- Forbes' top 100 richest athletes list was published last week and for the first time in EIGHT YEARS, there were NO WOMEN ON THE LIST. Seriously, WTF!!! This list clearly exemplifies the vast gender disparity in sports and that there's a long road ahead of us to achieve gender equality in the sports industry.
- Last week everyone's fave person, Chrissy Teigen, trolled NHL goaltender Ryan Miller on Twitter and it's literally one of the best things we've ever read. Check out the tweets here. Get 'em, Chrissy.
Get it in the Cal.
Good Friends Send Each Other Calendar Invites
After you're done crying thanks to the Season 2 trailer of Netflix's Queer Eye, make sure you get this sh!t in the cal:
Wednesday: Happy Hump day! Toronto FC is hosting the DC United at BMO Field at 8pm EST.
Thursday: The World Cup is starting and we're completely FIRED UP about it. Learn where you can watch the games here.
Friday/Saturday/Sunday: After three games in Tampa throughout the week, the Toronto Blue Jays are back home and hosting the Washington Nationals this weekend... just in time for Father's Day. Be the best kid ever and get your Dad tix to the game here. He'll love you for it.